Wednesday, August 24, 2005

    Games We'd Like To See

    The market is flooded with video games that promote killing figures of authority, raping and violence toward women, and most any anti-conservative theme you could imagine. I'd like to propose to the game authors some titles and descriptions of games that would sure to be big hits as well as help bring balance to your industry.

    HUNT FOR YELLOW OSAMA - (Genre, Action)
    You lead a team of women commandos clad in camouflaged bikinis packing the latest in weapons to take out any and all Al Qaeda scum. Down an Al Qaeda male and whip out your commando blade and take your two points! Use your points to buy more sophisticated weapons, super-vision night viewers that can even see through the mountains! Nab the big yellow coward and you win the game! Convert a Muslim girl into a bikini for even more bonus points!
    BE A MOBSTER - (Genre, Role Playing)
    You are Edward Moore Kennedy, AKA Ted Kennedy. Although you only served 2 years as a measly rank of Private in the US Army you grow up to be a powerful political figurehead. You become the torch-bearer for liberalism, the key representative for the unions in Washington D.C., and you get to keep poor and middle class oppressed. Take charge and keep those little people from letting their kids go to private schools by manipulating the options for school vouchers, etc. Get extra points for slamming the USA and paybacks from the unions for driving legislation favoring unions. It won't matter you just earned C grades while you went to the private Milton Academy - your family has money and they bought you a place at Harvard. No public school for you - public schools are for the other side of the track!
    ASSIGNMENT UN - (Genre, Mystery)
    You lead a team of investigators into the dark and hidden world of the United Nations. You track the money trail of millions of dollars destined for Niger and why the hunger-stricken citizens are still hunger-stricken. Is there a Kofi connection? You get to investigate how so many UN diplomats are living way above their income levels - is there a Kofi connection? How about those mega-millions destined for the tsunami victims that never materialized. Is there a Kofi connection? On your assignments you get to stay at the best luxury hotels and ride limos just like the UN management! Way cool - and an open-ended expense account too. Get 10% of the money you find illegally diverted - you have the potential to get way wealthy!
    WHINEY - (Genre, Role Playing)
    You get to whine at everything and score big time! You get to whine that you don't get paid enough even though you don't have any skill - and if you do it will you get paid more! You get to whine that someone else has something you don't have so either you get it too or that other person shouldn't have theirs - and if you whine well you make it happen! You hone your whining skills and learn from masters in the liberal world on how to achieve by whining. Score points by oppressing others with your whining. Score big by altering core values of the USA before those good people take back what you've whined for!

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