Will The Real Hillary Please Stand

Jay Leno:

In an interview over the weekend on Japanese television, Bill Clinton said Hillary would make a great president -- lousy intern but great, great president.

Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton's former business partners can vote for her in 2008.

The Clintons are getting ready for Christmas up in Chappaqua. It's the same thing every year. Hillary comes down the stairs on Christmas morning to find a surprise under Bill.

Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? For Sale.

Bill Maher:

There's already speculation that Hillary Clinton will be the nominee for the Democrats in 2008. Well, you have to admire the dedication of the Democratic party. They just lost an election, and they're already hard at work planning to lose the next one.

Miscellaneous (unknown source):

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

Real, so not funny (Cliff Kincaid):

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) believes in a world government under the auspices of the United Nations that will destroy American sovereignty and traditional families.

A media black-out has kept most Americans in the dark about the support that Mrs. Clinton and her husband gave to the World Federalist Association (WFA), a controversial organization which openly advocates world government. The WFA says that by adding more power, authority and functions to the United Nations, national sovereignty would be gradually eroded until it is no longer an issue. The group promotes global citizenship and such international agencies as the International Criminal Court (ICC), a World Disarmament Authority to control the weapons of the world, nuclear and even small arms; and an independent peacekeeping army for the U.N.

Hillary has never repudiated her connection with the Communist movement in America or explained her relationship with two of its leading adherents. Of course, no one has pursued these questions with Hillary. She has shown that she will not answer hard questions about her past, and she has learned that she does not need to -- remarkable in an age when political figures are allowed such little privacy.