Thursday, February 09, 2006

    Let's Split The USA - For Real!

    It's obvious our country is divided - liberals vs. conservatives. I propose we simple divide the nation into 25 liberal states (LaLaLand) and 25 conservative states (HonorLand). Some of the rules would simply reflect the ideologies of each group:

    • Liberals can only live in LaLaLand
    • In LaLaLand marriage is a pretense that figuratively unites anyone with anyone or anything.
    • LaLaLand can only raise taxes, never lower taxes
    • LaLaLand can not have access to private schools, they must only use public schools and they must all be unionized. Students must not be tested for achievement before advancing to the next grade level - all students advance automatically (an example - California's new exit exam challenged)
    • All businesses in LaLaLand must be unionized with a minimum wage of $160/hr.
    • Stock markets are illegal in LegoLand since corporations are seen as the enemy, and such markets simply promote more corporations
    • The government of LaLaLand and its departments and services must all be unionized
    • All healthcare is provided by the government of LaLaLand, and citizens must take a number and wait their turn
    • LaLaLand must give up any weapons since they are anti-war and pro-peace pacifists
    • LaLaLand must do away with the death penalty, any execution chambers, and whatever prisons they wish to. All liberal judges can only live and practice in LaLaLand. LaLaLand can not alter their punishment to criminals - they can only reduce punishments. (an example - Oregon's liberal state senator Vicki Walker thinks tax payers should provide sex offenders with housing)
    • LaLaLand government need not protect LaLaLand nor its citizens
    • Conservatives can only live in HonorLand
    • In HonorLand marriage is a sacred bond between a male (by birth) and female (by birth).
    • HonorLand can not raise taxes, they can only lower taxes
    • HonorLand can not have access to government controlled schools (public schools) - only vouchers exist and are to be used by parents to send their children to any number of private schools. Students must pass HonorLand achievement tests before advancing to the next grade level
    • No business in HonorLand can be unionized. There must be no minimum wage imposed by the government
    • Stock markets are legal in HonorLand since stocks equate to private ownership opportunities by the citizens of HonorLand
    • The government of HonorLand nor any departments or services can be unionized
    • All healthcare in HonorLand is privatized with open competition and health incentives
    • HonorLand must protect itself from attacks, so must remain armed with any weapons it deems necessary
    • HonorLand must not reduce punishments to criminals, they can only increase the punishment
    • The HonorLand government must protect HonorLand
    Do you have any doubt which side would endure?

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