Learning To Be Liberal - Class 103

This is the next to last lesson on how to be a better liberal. The final lesson tomorrow does not mean there isn't more to being a liberal, there is just so much more but time and space can only allow for the more popular concepts. So on with our third in a series of four lessons!

Hypnosis

Liberals can effect change and attitudes by repeating key phrases over and over and over and over. It doesn't matter what phrase you pick, just make sure it slams conservatives then pass it on to other liberals. Before you know it people will believe it - won't matter if it's true or not because people will hear it so much that they will assume it is true without questioning it. Some favorites that have worked are "Bush lied to the American People" and "Republicans are racists". Remember, repeat, repeat, repeat - the more repetition, the more effective it will be.

Justice System

Whenever possible vote for liberal judges. Liberals need more judges that will go beyond the practice of judging basic truth, but will impose the liberal mindset upon society. The justice system has gone a long way to alter the USA. Take for example when a state holds an election and the majority votes against same sex marriage, all it takes is one liberal judge to totally wipe out the majority vote (so much for We The People) and apply liberal principles. Never vote for a judge that is pro-death penalty and never vote for a judge that believes in long term incarceration. Criminals are not our enemy but victims of the conservative mindset - so sympathize with the criminal. Promote that courts should adapt global law concepts - it will help to water down the Constitution and other laws of the USA.

Iraq

Perhaps the biggest opportunity to attack those conservatives that want to spread Democracy and freedom is Iraq. Although it might seem complex the liberal mindset is really simple. On one side of your mouth say you support the troops (to appear patriotic) then on the other side expose any and all possible news - true or not - that would embarrass the military and the nation. Sympathize with the terrorists and make them look like the minutemen of the early days in the USA. Never ever mention any good that is taking place in Iraq - this is a liberal no-no. For example the recent news of water purification projects completed near Baghdad should not be mentioned - hide it. When you hear of deployed Airmen reaching out to the Kyrgyz community - hide it! Make it look like doom and gloom - hide the truth! When Marines deliver a new wheelchair to an Iraqi girl - hide it! Hide it all! The liberal cause will be hurt with this good news stuff.

Protest

Protests are great for getting the attention of the media since the media loves confrontations. Protest anything that would be against freedom, liberty, morals, justice. For example, if a murderer is about to be executed whip out those protest signs and help protect the murderer. Being liberal means you don't care about victims in the conservative sense. A real liberal will know that the only victims are those that have to live in a conservative capitalistic society. Protest all attempts to remove terrorists since terrorists are actually helping the liberal - they are friends. Protest that they, the terrorists, must have rights as well - protect them. Never protest in favor of anything conservative or pro-American, that's a no-no.

The Poor

For decades liberals have convinced the poor that liberals are on their side, and you must perpetuate this concept - even though it is not true. If a poor person somehow gets a good education and escapes their poor situation they will be enlightened to the truth - that it really is conservatives that are trying to help the poor. It is the duty of liberals to make sure the poor are oppressed and that their children only attend government controlled public schools - always fight against attempts of conservatives to enroll disadvantaged youth in private or charter schools. Promote government assistance and handouts so they will continue to rely on the government and not on themselves. If they suddenly find out they can take control of their own lives and make their own decisions then liberals are screwed! Enlist the new crop of illegal aliens into the government dependency system ASAP!

Return to class for Liberalism 104 tomorrow!