Mucky Merkley Waters

So yesterday I get this unsolicited (junk) email from some Democrat by the name of Jeff Merkley. It's a pitch to solicit money from Oregonians or whoever. I thought I'd pass it through some analysis since politicians, especially liberals, speak with a forked tongue. Let me translate into reality some of his email:

Merkley: "I began my life in the small town…".
Translation: I have no qualifications so consider that I appear humble, don't I?

Merkley: "My father passed away earlier this year, and now my wife Mary and I are trying…".
Translation: Hey - the sympathy card worked for John Edwards!

Merkley: "Oregon needs a new Senator who will work with our senior Senator, Ron Wyden…".
Tranlation: I will be a party puppet and have no brain of my own. My priority is my party, not you little people.

Merkley: "Congress should pass a commonsense plan to ensure that all Americans -- young and old, rich and poor -- receive quality health care."
Translation: I will push for socialized health care for everyone - legal or illegal. If you have a doctor now you be forced into the government system - no choice. We will support this with higher taxes, more fees, and no deductions for anything.

Merkley: "You can count on me to help launch a strong federal effort to make the switch to clean, renewable energy, and halt our headlong rush toward destructive climate change."
Translation: I'm a bonified Gorist and will raise taxes on gas and oil companies so high and bring back those lines at the gas pump you will wish you had a solar powered bike. You little people should be using public transportation anyway.

Merkley: "Oregon needs a new U.S. Senator who will bring a real passion to the job. A passion for tax fairness…"
Translation: "The more you apply yourself to get ahead, the greater I will tax you".

Merkley: "…public education and for helping ordinary, everyday Oregonians achieve their aspirations and make their dreams come true."
Translation: I will embrace bigger government to pay for more of your college and university education. You won't have to get a job and be responsible for yourself, I'll just raise taxes and fees from everyone else. You will be discouraged from attending private schools - it will be bigger government schools for all.

Merkley: "I believe we can put the public interest before the special interests in our nation's capital again. I've spent my career in Oregon fighting for what matters for regular working families."
Translation: I'm a union puppet and most every union in Oregon endorses me.

Merkley: "Now, I'm ready to continue that fight in the U.S. Senate."
Translation: I'm a union puppet, bought by the unions, and will vote for all pro-union legislation.

Merkley: "But I will fight for ordinary working families…"
Translation: But I won't give you freedom to choose where your child goes to school - you must send them to government schools. I will discourage you from being responsible for yourself, and will make you dependent on bigger government.

Merkley: "I hope you'll join me as we kick off a campaign for new leadership in the U.S. Senate."
Translation: I'll bring in the same old socialist tactics that will make government BIGGER, take away more rights, and force more regulations and edicts upon Americans. And by the way, send me your money!